i love my mommy <3

this is another very apparent and obvious change I have seen myself go through in the past year, becoming so much more attached to my family, especially my mom. I think this began when my parents have become very supportive with me going into college, and when my dad kept assuring me that he will support me whatever decision I made regarding post secondary as long as it was something I wanted to do. That meant the world to me, to get their approval. I decided early in grade 12 that there was no way I would go into universities. Surely I knew I would get accepted if I wanted to, but also with the same certainty I knew I would not have survived even if I got into a university. And to get the support from my parents... it really meant the world to me. I felt so blessed to be placed in such a traditional Chinese family, yet have parents who are willing to step out of that stereotypical Chinese parents image. There is nothing in the world that makes me feel more blessed than have a mom and a dad that want nothing but the best for me, that truly and geniunely want nothing but for me to be happy and do what makes me happy.

Over the past year, my mom has asked me quite a few times "are you happy?". And I have been able to say with complete honesty that... yes i am, I truly am so happy. And I know so well that my parents have contributed so greatly to the true joy and happiness that I feel from in to out, head to toe. There is hardly anything I can complain about. Yes I'm tired... Yes I miss my bed... Yes there are things that I wish were "better"... but No I have no complaints. And why? Because my parents have done everything they possibly could to help me choose a path that I am happy to walk on.

I know it probably sounds weird, but I really love my parents more and more everyday. Everytime I look back to the past years, I thank God for bringing me this much closer to my family. Remember the years that going home was the last thing I wanted to do, and all the years that I hated being with my family and did everything I could to hurt my parents. And now... now... whenever I am upset, my parents is the first ones that come to my mind, and going home is the first thing I want to do. I spend the happiest times with my family, and there always seems to be laughter in this house now. Me, my mom and Josie laugh about the stupidest things. Me and Josie could just be talking on the phone and just laugh for no apparent reason, and people would look at me weird on the bus XD And I know my parents, especially my mom, have done so much to keep up with me and Josie.. we are growing up, spending less time at home, but my parents have worked hard to make sure whatever time we do have at home are quality time and that we still have time to talk and "communicate" with each other. I even enjoy when my mom does her little nagging throughout the day, because it just reminds me of how much she loves me and how I am still the little girl in her eyes.

Yet despite how I'm still her little girl, my mom has worked so hard to let me go. I know so well that allowing me to leave her side and go to China for four months is a big step for her to take, a huge step. It really screamed out to me how much she loves me, and how much she is willing to do to allow me to do what I want to do, to have my dream come true. There is no better feeling than to know so well that there is someone in the world that loves you this much, no matter what you have done in the past.

And my dad... there is just no better dad in the world than he. Yah he's weird and unreasonable at times, and got some attitude at other times. But bottom line is, he's an awesome husband and a better dad. He would do anything in the world for us, and he is just so supportive when I need him to support me. He doesn't just agree with whatever I say or do, but he offers insight to what I have to say and what I plan to do. He's not educated, no... but he definitely is an intelligent and wise man. I love my daddy.

Leaving them for four months will be so hard, just watch me bawl my eyes out at the airport... when just a few years ago, I would have been so glad to get away from them. God has done amazing things and I am just so grateful. They are like... my parents... and best friends. After all these years... seeing people walk in and out of my life... I remember my mom said so long ago that... one day you will realize the only people you know you can totally and completely trust are your parents and sister. And today, when I look at the people around me, the only people that I am totally willing to completely rely on really are my parents and sister. Yes, friends are good, some of my friends are the bestest, but there's noone like mommy and daddy and Josie. We have all been betrayed by "best friends", and I'm sure I will experience more pain... but I know I can always run to my mommy and cry ^_^