but boo, i don't know what to do with my summer this year. yes, i'm thinking about it already XD well i was really hoping to go back to HK this summer, but iunno... i might do a two month course instead, since our annual inspection for cadets this year is on June 10th... pretty late. and they do kinda need me there for training, considering... well... we have very few people that are actually qualified and are willing to train the cadets right now. Hopefully more people will step up as the year goes on. and then there's cadet summer training. my officers are really encouraging me to and insist that i should apply for staff at Quadra this year... but iunno!!!!!!!!!
i don't feel qualified to be anything at Quadra!!! XD my officer keeps telling me that i'm more than capable for the jobs, and i know that... at least i'm more capable than a lot of people that actually get hired for the jobs (not to be mean or anything), but technically, i'm not "qualified", not for any positions i would actually want anyway. I only have a trade group 1 certification from like... 3 years ago.
the thing is, i never considered to actually go back to quadra, let alone to apply for staff. i never actually told any of you about this... probably because i never thought any of you would be interested. but basically... i applied for summer training for three summers in total. First year, they didn't take me, but that was a pure luck/ no luck thing, because well... it was just a general training that all the new cadets would apply for. And i mean, i won best new entry that year, so i couldn't have cared less whether they accepted me to Quadra or not. Second year I applied for gunnery, which is undoubtedly the toughest and most "hardcore" summer course in the sea cadet movement, like there's no discussion about that. They accepted me, charing, ang, christine, and this other girl. The "other girl" RTU'd herself cause she was homesick >_> (that basically means she kicked herself out of the course). The three weeks ended, learned lots, got a pretty good course report at the end, met minimal amt of people that are actually worth me keeping contact with XD
Then the third summer, I applied to gunnery trade group 2, but they accepted christine and noone else from our place. This is when they ticked me off and I decided Quadra simply was not worth me going back to anymore. because quite frankly, of all the people that actually applied from our place, she was the one that most did not deserve it. i now it sounds mean, but it simply is the truth. noone understood why they accepted her and not me, or anyone else for that matter, even our officer said it... like he actually said it to me, and he said our commanding officer wrote me a really good reccomendation too. Well... actually, we all knew why, because she is frank and allen's sister, and both frank and allen have done remarkably well in the sea cadet movement over the years. and to prove my point so none of you would think i'm just saying that cause i didn't get accepted, i got Best Junior Rank and Best Drill Dress and Deportment that year.
So after that year, I just found no point in reapplying. You can probably hear it in my bitterness right now, and truth is, I still haven't gotten over it. I guess I can't get over it also because Christine gave up on gunnery after that summer as well. She didn't go into gunnery 3 the year after 'cause she "had summer school"... sorry but that is just a load of crap (gunnery 3 is the graduating course). I guess I stopped considering to go back to Quadra also because I knew very well what I really wanted to do with my summers - to spend it with the kids who actually are worth my time and effort.
Nevertheless, I knew exactly what I was giving up on aside from the gunnery certification when I decided not to apply again... all the medals and the potential parade positions. But looking back at it now, I never regretted my decision. What I have done with my summers instead made me who I am today, allowed me to find my passion, lead me into Rec. Even though I won't qualify for the medals and parade positions that I could have gotten, I think I have proven my abilities even without them. I mean... they are pretty much getting me to do all the stuff I would have done even with the certification anyway.
And now... my CO pretty much told me that if I do apply for staff, him and the rest of the officers will make sure I get it. If this was the Joanas two years ago, she wouldn't have even given it a second thought and applied right away. But like Derek said, all this staff and junk has lost its meaning over the years, not because our interest in cadets have died down, but I think it's because we found the real meaning to being in cadets as we have stepped up into the leadership roles. And well, it's also because cadets are not really... cadets anymore. I mean, they are taking the gunnery course out because it is apparently "too hard", and officers are getting chap'd cause they are being too hard on the cadets O.o more load of crap.
well, they are looking into having a scuba diving focused training course in kingston ontario this summer. if they do, i'm definitely applying to that. Then if i get accepted, i'll begin a scuba diving course next year, because I know a lot of our older cadets really want a scuba diving course. The only thing is that I'm aging out two months into the new year next year... so someone will have to take it over after I start them off.
And well... staff... i mean, what the heck am i gonna apply for!?! All the positions that I actually want, even if I'm capable, I'm not qualified... like... D&C... they aren't gonna gimme D&C >_> So what? Am I gonna apply for Admin? That's... crap. -.- I don't wanna waste two months there doing nothing... yes, even if I get paid for it... and we actually get paid pretty well. I can have much better use of my time. I am considering being medical assistant at the sick bay though. I only need Std First Aid for that, and I'm actually hoping to get my First Responders next semester, since I need some sort of certification for my Rec course anyway. But I do vividly remember from when I was a course cadet at Quadra, no matter what it was we were going to the sick bay for, they would always "treat" us by giving us ice pacs or bandaids... like that's literally all they would do -.- you go to them with a stomach-ache, ice pac. you have a bleeding finger, ice pac and bandaid. i remember some kid broke his finger, and they gave him an ice pac for that, it wasn't until they realized the swelling was getting worse did they actually do something about it -.-
Iunno.... but frank was right, this is gonna be my last shot... what have i got to lose right? And I told my mom and she's like "yah! go!!!!!" she doesn't want me XD
Whao... writing all that and thinking back to the past few years... I cannot believe it's been 6 years already. And I cannot believe I'm starting to keep track of my lasts now... my last year, my last remembrance day parade, my last poppy sale... and much more lasts to come. If I were to name the one thing that I remember the most, the one experience that I teasure the most, it would have to be drill team from three years ago. It's actually kinda sad that we only had it for that one year, but it was great. Haha I still remember there was a period of time when I really wanted to quit, just cause everything was so screwed up. But I guess I always knew in the very back of my mind that I was going to climb through the whole cadet system, beginning to end. I've always wondered, what my life would be like right now if I hadn't joined cadets or if I had quit. But I cannot seem to find an answer... I mean... cadets have been such a huge and significant part of my growing up that I simply cannot imagine what my life would be like without it. But I don't think I would go back to be an officer right after I age out like a lot of people do. I think I'm gonna want to go and do something else before I decide to go back or not, kind of like what Allen is doing. I mean, once you get onto the officer side of things, it all just kinda becomes a lot more complicated.
Anyway... I didn't mean to write that much... but I did... but I don't expect you guys to read it til this far XD But then I'm kinda glad that I did write all that... gives me a time of reflection... kinda gave me a little glimpse of what I would like to see done in the last year of my cadet career. Haha, and I have my boards next week too, interesting :P