if i don't do this now, i'll never do it. and this is probably going to take me awhile to finish...
the past year has been amazing... or even just the past few months. i honestly see that God has completely taken my life to an entire different course from when i first thought it would be. still remember when i planned my whole grade 11 and 12 year out so i could go into nursing, and everything else happened, almost seeming like it was all happening to make sure i don't get into nursing. coming out of grade 12, still quite lost and confused, it was not until i finished my provincial exams that i actually applied for recreation. within 2 weeks, my provincial marks came out, i got all my requirements in, and i was accepted, and never did i expect that i was heading onto the a path that i would be so grateful to walk on.
God is truly amazing, and my walk with God has simply been that much more awesome. To be able to truly say that I experience God everyday of my life is just amazing, and I am just so humbled by the grace that God has poured down on me. My walk with God had always been like a roller coaster, and when I look back to my life now compared to how it used to be, I realize I used to live a Christian life almost for show. No, not in the sense that it wasn't real or that i was putting up an act, but in the sense that I was very conscious of the way I was acting in front of others "because I was a Christian", and I was so caught up in the midst of being aware of my actions and being concerned about how my actions would reflect on the image of Christians. To an extent, I was more caught up in all that than to actually simply try to live a life for the glory of God.
Having completely started from scratch in completely different environments have allowed me to just take everything from level 1 again. Going into Langara, first thing I wanted to do was to make friends with other Christians or join a Christian club or whatnot. Little did I know, God had a much bigger plan than that. God brought me into a group with such diversed people; in fact, the first friend that I actually made, and now one of my closer friends, is someone who had the biggest misunderstandings and the most shallow view on Christians and Christianity. I have learned to rely on God that much more in the past few months, and as a result, have allowed God to completely take control of my life and to simply allow God to fill my life. And I realize simply doing everything and living my life for Him, instead of trying to make it a point to let others know I am a Christian, is a much better and more convincing way to testify for Him to everyone around me.
God has taught me so much in this past year, about family, friends, relationships, and just life in general. God has taught me that He has everything under control, He knows what He's doing, and all I am to do is to rely on Him and know that He is with me every step of the way, and that He truly is more than enough for me. God is so amazing. He takes me back everytime I run back to Him after having tried so hard to push Him away and walk away from Him, and He is just so willing to take me into His arms and give me time to heal, no matter how broken I am, and for that, I praise Him.
resolutions... I really don't have any, except to just continue doing what I have been doing in the last bit... simply being who I am, who God intended me to be, and trying my best and work my hardest in all the areas I am involved in. If there is anything, it is simply to keep up with the 2-year Bible reading plan our congregation is start on... well... today. Basically, the 2-year Bible reading plan will take us through the Old Testament once and the New Testament twice over the next two years. I'm quite excited for this, because we will be keeping each other accountable, and I think I really will get a lot more out of this than when I did the one-year on my own.
